


I count to three

by VanillaKiss



Category: BTOB
Genre: Getting Back Together, M/M, Reminiscing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-28
Updated: 2020-07-28
Packaged: 2021-03-05 23:14:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25573438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VanillaKiss/pseuds/VanillaKiss
Summary: "I count to three. Let's say it together."They were the perfect match, it just wasn't the perfect time for them.
Relationships: Jung Ilhoon/Yook Sungjae
Comments: 1
Kudos: 10





	I count to three

"I want to tell you something," Sungjae said, sitting on the couch.

Ilhoon just came home from work. His coat was still on. Well, not like he planned to take it off since there was something important in his pocket. Something that could change their life.

"Ah, good timing. I also have something I want to tell you."

"You first."

"Ah, no. You."

"I count to three. Let's say it together."

Ilhoon nodded. 

"One."

Breathe in

"Two."

Breathe out

"Three." 

"Let's get married." 

"Let's break up."

They just stared at each other. Ilhoon was ready to pull the small box out of his pocket with the ring he bought just a few hours ago. Sungjae looked sad, but after hearing his boyfriend's proposal, he looked surprised. Or more like shocked. 

"What?" Ilhoon asked, trying to process the other man's words. 

"Hyung," Sungjae started but didn't know how to finish it. 

"Is this really what you want?" Ilhoon asked, maintaining eye contact. "Are you sure?" 

"I-" He looked away. "I'm sorry. I-" 

"It's okay, Sungjae. It really is." He patted the other man's shoulder. "Don't feel sorry, okay?" 

  
"And this is how it all ended?" Ilhoon's niece, Minseo asked. 

"No, there was a pretty big fight with throwing mugs and a lot of crying, arguing about who gets what, who will take care of our house plant Edmund, who gets the house and things like that." Ilhoon typed a few more words then sighed. He couldn't concentrate. He was working as an editor at a lifestyle magazine, and the deadline for the article was very close.

"And who got Edmund?" Minseo asked. 

"Me," Ilhoon pointed at a tree-looking plant. "I bought a new apartment, brought him there, but Edmund always reminded me of him."

"But you just left in on your desk?!" 

"I went to his house one day and gave him back."

"Then why is it here?" 

"It's a long story. Some things happened."

"What things?" 

"You're too young to know about them."

"I'm sixteen. I know things."

Ilhoon gasped. "I'll tell your dad."

"No, you won't," Minseo smiled confidently. "So what happened?" 

"You already know, I guess." Ilhoon stared at the monitor. There was a word he wanted to use, but as he was typing the words before it, he forgot, and now he just couldn't recall it. "Sungjae and I…" 

"What? Did you say Sungjae?" Minseo's mouth fell open. "It was him?!" 

"Yeah?" Ilhoon pinched the bridge of his nose. "Didn't I tell you?" 

"No? You didn't say any name." Minseo put away his book. She was supposed to be studying, but this topic sounded more interesting.

"Really? Okay, so it was him." He saved the half-finished article before he started explaining how his relationship started with Sungjae, then ended with that fight and how many years it took them to finally get back together.

"What we had was something special. It's just… That wasn't the perfect time for this. The perfect time for us. We were meant to be together. We had to wait to realize things. We had to grow. We were just two hot-headed teenagers when we started dating. Then we moved together when we were in college, and things just started getting worse. We were still young, barely twenty. And living together can either go well or very bad. We were constantly fighting over the smallest things, started spending more and more time with our friends and less with each other. It's brought the ugliest parts of us out." A sad smile appeared on his face. "After college, we both started working. There was still a lot of fighting, but I thought that's just how living together with your partner is. I thought it was normal for every couple. That's why…" he paused and looked at the ring on his finger. "I loved him. I really did. That's why I proposed to him. And not gonna lie, I was sure he'd say yes." 

"What did you feel when he said he wanted to break up?" 

"I was shocked," he replied. "And heartbroken. So fucking heartbroken, I cried for days after that." He laughed. "But don't you dare to tell this to anyone."

Minseo nodded. "How did you two get back together?"

"Two years after our break up, we were invited to one of our mutual friend's wedding. Look," he started playing with the ring on his finger, "weddings are already emotional enough, imagine sitting next to your ex who you dated for almost ten years and even wanted to propose to him."

"Let me guess," Minseo cut in. "You two got drunk and had a hot night together and decided to date again."

"Wrong," Ilhoon stared at her horrified. "I have to talk to your father," he cleared his throat. "We drank a lot, that's true. We got very emotional, so in the end, we went to the park we first met and cried for like half an hour without saying anything." Minseo rolled her eyes. "We didn't talk about our relationship, but we went to Sungjae's place. He still lived in that house, and when we got into that taxi, we automatically told that address," he couldn't hide his smile. "We woke up next to each other in the morning, and you know, it just felt right. We went through a lot of things, and not just when we were still together but even after that. Both of us tried to date other people in those two years, but neither of them last more than a few months," he sighed. "I didn't know what I felt for him, and I'm sure he was the same. We didn't felt the same love we used to, or we just didn't want to admit it. Maybe we were just scared and didn't want to get our hearts broken again."

"Wait, if you didn't want to admit your feelings, then how did you two get together?"

"We didn't?" Ilhoon stretched out his legs and glanced worriedly at his article. "Sungjae made breakfast for me, we eat together, then I left, and we didn't meet until your first birthday."

"What? My first birthday?"

Ilhoon nodded. "It was four? No, five years after that wedding."

"Wait, wait, wait!" Minseo exclaimed. "Five years?"

"Yeah? Why?"

"That's a very long time."

"Yes, that's a very long time," Ilhoon chuckled. "And how many things had happened in those five years... I had been in a relationship for three years, and Sungjae had a fiancée."

"A fiancée?!" She jumped up from her seat. "Wait, what? I've never heard about this."

"Really? They even got married," Ilhoon tilted his head to one side. "But it sure wasn't the happiest marriage in this world. They divorced two years later."

"And what about your partner?"

"We were still together when Sungjae got divorced. Though, if I want to be honest with you, it was more like an on-again, off-again relationship."

"Wait, before you talk about the divorce and your on-again, off-again relationship, I need to know something." She sat back. "Did something interesting happen on my birthday?"

"What do you mean by interesting?"

"I don know. Something juicy?"

"Juicy?" Ilhoon gasped. "I'm calling your dad."

Minseo just laughed. "So?"

"We just talked about those five years. Also, we promised to keep in touch, so we sometimes texted each other after that," he paused. "I remember how weird it felt to see you in his arms. Seeing a child in his arms. And I felt sad for a moment," he sighed again. Even though things worked out fine in the end, thinking back to those times, it still hurt. "A few months later, I got the invitation to his wedding. I still have it, by the way."

"Why?" Minseo frowned.

"I don't know. It's kind of nostalgic, you know?" He shrugged. "The wedding was terrible. I mean, it was beautiful, but it hurt so much. And you know what's funny? A few days before the wedding, Sungjae called me and asked me to make a speech."

"What? Why would he do that?"

"I thought the same, but he explained everything so I couldn't say no. As I said before, what we had was something special. And we were already talking at that time so you could have called us friends. I knew him for the longest time, and I knew him probably the best. He told me he needed me. He needed someone from the old times. He also apologized for being selfish and insensitive with his request, knowing I proposed to him before. He said sorry so many times, and I knew he was honest. And you know," a bitter smile appeared on his face, "I still had feelings for him. I've loved him ever since the first time we met at that park, and he accidentally poured his coffee on my shirt."

"What did you say on his wedding?"

"It was something like," he leaned back in his chair, "I've known Sungjae for seventeen years, and even though there were many years we spent apart, he's still someone very important to me. In those years, I thought we would never meet again, and now I'm here, at his wedding, on probably the happiest day of his life. I still remember the day we first met, how awkward it was, and how I hated him for ruining my favorite shirt with his coffee, which wasn't even tasty." He licked his lips and continued quoting his speech. "Okay, that was a lie. I should have hated him, I know, but I couldn't. I knew he was a good guy. There were ups and downs in our relationship, however, my impression on him never changed. He's a great guy, and he deserves the best." He crossed his legs. "After that, I looked at the bride as if I was implying that she was that best I was talking about." Minseo laughed at that. "Then I said," he folded his arms in his lap, "it's not easy to find someone you truly love. Sometimes you might feel you'll never find that one person who understands you and accepts you. I'm glad you found it." He bit his lip to hold back a smile. "You should have seen Sungjae's face when I said that." He put his hands behind his head. "Then I said how I could talk about him all day and tell all of his awkward stories but I'm nice enough, so I won't say anything about that time when..." He chuckled. "Then I paused and didn't say anything. Only his parents and like two friends knew about our relationship, everyone else thought we were just good friends. Just imagine how they would have reacted if I told them all of his embarrassing habits and stories, which probably no one knew except for the bride."

"You should have done that," said Minseo, laughing.

Ilhoon winked at her. "I also said how beautiful the wife was, which was true, by the way, and that Sungjae couldn't have chosen better. I also said something like... um... Everyone who knows them knows how much in love they are and how perfect they're for each other. Seeing them, I wish I could find someone like that." His hands squeezed into fists. "That was my speech roughly. I talked with Sungjae a little after that, but then I told him I had to go home, so I left and cried in that park." Minseo rolled her eyes again. "What? I told you weddings were emotional."

"And what about those two years until the divorce?"

"We talked sometimes like normal friends do," Ilhoon shrugged. "On the night when they agreed on getting a divorce, he called me and asked me to meet him. I wasn't together with my boyfriend at that time, we fought a few weeks before that and broke up. So I went to a bar with Sungjae and drank a lot. Like, a lot."

"And you two got drunk again, and woke up together in his bed just to never speak again."

"No, no, no!" He shook his head. "He told me how he shouldn't date anyone because it was the same when he was together with me, and it must be his fault that he always ended up fighting with his partners. Everything was the same except for his feelings. He told me he never loved anyone as much as he loved me. It took me by surprise. Then he said how jealous he was of my boyfriend. I- I told them we already broke up, and then... Then he kissed me."

"Finally!" Minseo started clapping then suddenly stopped. "Wait, didn't you say you were dating your boyfriend after the divorce?"

"Yeah, we got together again."

"But why? I don't understand it."

"Look, the divorce was terrible. They fought a lot, Sungjae was such a mess. What he needed wasn't a new love or a relationship, but someone who would comfort him. I made up with my boyfriend and Sungjae and he became good friends, actually."

"What the-"

"It wasn't the same. I mean, my relationship with my boyfriend. I couldn't stop thinking about what happened in that bar. So I decided it was better to break up. Well, we both knew it was the best for us."

"And you two finally got together? Please, tell me you did," Minseo said in a pleading tone.

"We did. I went to him, told him I still loved him, then yeah," he laughed awkwardly. "We got back together." He stared at his ring. "He proposed to me after three years of dating. We still fight sometimes, but it's not like at that time. We went through a lot, we learned new things, met new people. Now we know how to handle those things we couldn't when we were younger."

"The deadline."

Ilhoon turned back. Sungjae was standing behind him, leaning against the door.

"When..."

"When you were talking about the speech," he said and walked to Ilhoon to kiss him. "The deadline," he warned him again. "You told me I couldn't let you out of this room until you finish your work." He kissed him again. "I miss you."

"I miss you too. I'll try to finish it as soon as possible" Ilhoon turned to his computer. "So yeah, that was our story," he said to Minseo.

"Never heard anything as frustrating as this," she rolled her eyes, smiling.

**Author's Note:**

> talk to me on twitter: 6vanillakiss


End file.
